Busy with literature. Since I left this blog, I've been writing and stories got published. I also started to write poems and soon was published. Still I am a coach for Schrijven Online. Thinking is now material for dialogues, thoughts of karakters in my stories or poems. I write thoughts down to use later. Also I joined a philosophy group where we read books from Hannah Arends, Peter Sloterdijk, Michel Foucault and Spinoza. Not the most easy books to read, sometimes sentences take up an entire paragraph. It develops my thinking and helps generate new ideas. We discuss about what we read. Did we understand what is written? What does it mean in different contexts? Do we agree with this? What are the consequences of this? What are connections?

Mercifulness

Reflecting on dreams, I realize that mercifulness is more difficult than it seems. I wish I could teach it with a short story that would reach the four corners of the world.
I ache to see so many have no food, no safety, no justice. I believe human beings have to change this. There is goodness for who sees it.

It would be hard to live in certain countries and to be a thinker or a dreamer.
Mercifulness, how to teach this?

writing coach

About every two weeks I'm a writing coach. I always hope the participants, who love to write, like me, have inspiration from the writing-assignment I give them. The last assignment involved a white sheet lying on the street.
Since three years of participating at writingcontests in Dutch, I have twelve publications of short stories. I won three contests. The strange thing is that winning can get in the way of creativity. I tend to expect more and more of myself, and this is a sure recipy for writer's block. Before I wrote for fun, after I wrote to win. The solution is to start writing for fun again. Not to expect to win everytime, to have the greatest story-ideas every round. Originality and high expectations don't always go together well. I'm reading the Comic Toolbox by John Vorhaus and he seems to agree with me.
I have to find my way to create plots on demand. Here also the Comic Toolbox is helpfull. 

getting published with writing contests

I've been away from my blogs, writing and reading. I now have seven short stories published thanks to writing contests in Dutch. I've been asked to do some coaching. Friday I invented a new literary form. I don't think I have ever seen it anywhere before. I'm waiting to know if it'll get published.
I'm awaiting the results of city2cities. I participated in the writing contest and hope to get chosen for the publication for the third time in a row. I love city2cities for the interesting interviews with writers from the guest cities. This year the participating cities are Dublin and Boedapesht. The festival is located in Utrecht.

Leaders and limits

Presidents are limited. They have to work within boundaries that are limited. Only their creativity and deep understanding can make it possible for them to break out of their psychological prison. This is why a dictator cannot easily change being a dictator. He would have to be able to find the right words and thoughts to convince those who sustain him. He is bound by the spirit of those who surround him and would have to be able to inspire them to change. What dictators are able to do this? To achieve meaningful change, one needs to read meaningful books. Kindness, honesty, patience, compassion are far better motivations than a blame-culture. Blame returns to the sender.

Content after city2cities

After city2cities my head is full of ideas. I want to write but my house needs my attention, so do the children. In the bus to the hospital I wrote in my booklet. I often write when using public transportation. I sent two short stories that I wrote this week. I hope one will be published (in Dutch). I'm not at the level that I win first prizes. I'm in the peloton. Can I be in the peloton for longer stories? There is only one way to find out, practice. Very short stories can be written in between doing laundry and shopping. While cleaning I feel the pull of wanting to write. Maybe it's better to distance myself from writing a bit and being busy with my hands.
In the background of my thoughts I think about improving my writing skills with lessons or with a coach. I can ask a coach to look at how I write and to give me specific training. But it costs much more than a course.
I have learned from feedback this month that my content is good but that my style could be better. At the writers forum I visit I see how other writers progress and notice their style improves through practice. At some point they start winning prizes, then they try to write articles. After a while they want to publish a book. When they continue, eventually they get published. My content is worth the effort.

paradise with Kafka

The temperature outside is at last comfortable. Yesterday we visited the cultural happening city2cities, where I was nominated with a very short story in the honor of Kafka. I enjoyed the interview of Jáchim Topol by Abdelkader Benali. We had questions for Jáchim Topol, but no room for questions. For this interview alone it was worth the ride to Utrecht (Netherlands).
It's a pitty that writers are one-way friends. The communication with a writer follows a distinct pattern differing from normal communication. A deceased writer doesn't know what future generations want to say to them, a contemporary writer has just a bit more opportunities to hear readers reactions. A writer gives his thoughts to the reader. The reader's response stays muted in his mind.
Unfortunately I live in a poor-artistic environment. On the other hand I have the advantage of peace and quiet to write and develop my thoughts without disturbances.
Maybe paradise is to sit and talk with Kafka on a beautiful afternoon.

After finishing writing my book for Nanowrimo I turn my head to my family and housekeeping. December is short days, waking up in the dark, finding presents that are worthwhile for the children. I found geometric puzzles for my son who now enjoys resolving them. The smile on his face is precious. My other son shows me the Cheops puzzle he managed to solve. He is our youngest child. He didn't need help to do it. The shop arabesk.nl is stopping this year. Where will I find the same quality of puzzles and toys? We are really enjoying our vacation. There is a pile of books on the table. The children brought books from school to read. Tomorrow a friend is comming to bake coockies with the children. A colleague from the USA is invited.
I feel so much better than last year and I'm very thankful for this.
In the back of my head I reread my book. I'm pleased with what I have written and don't think there is much I want to change...

Nanowrimo and exploring

Through writing this month about Nora who writes to Noam, I learned about the process that Nora is in, writing the letters and refining her character. I'm now sad about leaving Noam and Nora...

Nanowrimo gadget

On this gadget you can see how much progress I make with my Nanowrimo writing. You can also see my username, Schmiodile. If everything continues like this, I will finish my 50000 words early. I'm writing in Dutch. The story is about Nora, a mother, who writes letters to Noam, a captured soldier. Each letter starts with a virtue.

Humility is active

With my chevruta I'm learning about Humility. Humility is about doing. I have the tendency to shy away. This is not Humility. So a good exercise for me would be to practice Gevurah, Strength. Where can I better practice than with the children? I have to reread the chapter to see if I completely get the concept right. It is about the nuances.
I read that my wisdom as an adult can stand in between me and my children if I feel I'm better than them. If I have wisdom, I'm supposed to share it with them.
Thus it would be Humility to share my wisdom with my children with a humble heart, but with strength as well and acrively involved. And Joy!

starting to write

Nanowrimo 2011 is just around the corner. My husband warned me not to write more than is good for me. The idea to start a new book appeals to me. I will watch my energylevel, but what should I write about? I'm having trouble to stick to one idea. Time to search the web for help. In this article suggestions how to unleash my imagination and find good ideas. Maybe I will succeed writing, maybe not...

Simply Joy

How can you be joyous in a difficult situation? Say my husband has a bad day, his mood is not pleasant. I can feel bad because he is too much in his feeling to pay me attention. I can also feel joy, that he is here with me. This really works. Just like I felt when we were in love, that same feeling actually helps in a bad mood day.
What would happen if I focus on giving joy?
I want to learn more about joy without artifacts. I guess it is about wanting what you already have, rather than expecting a fix through an artefact. I want to read more about it this year.

the silent observer (2)

This quiet and sometimes slow because reflective voice inside has been given more space to speak for some time now. I notice my words are kinder, more reflective, wiser. This has an effect on people around me. They become calmer, kinder, thoughtfuller themselves. Sometimes one of the children will react with acting out. Then the quiet voice combines well with strength.

Modesty, humility

The course of Ethics (Mussar) is nearly finished, we practiced all character traits in it and now we're back to Anavah. We (my chevruta and I) found that we need to be more present and say our thoughts more often, in contrast to others who can gain by being more silent. This is difficult because accostumed to being silent, I have difficulty hearing that silent voice within myself that has interesting things to say. I haven't been writing on my blog for some time, busy with daily chores, caring for my family. When we have a deeper discussion with the children, I enjoy that very much, so why don't we have that more often, instead of watching television or sitting behind the computer. Taking up one's space is an aspect of Anavah.

The zone of proximal development and me

What does the zone of proximal development mean in my life right now? How can I keep on learning? I can use internet and google to learn through exploring that what is related to what I already know and find out what I can add to what I already know. This is how I do it. I wonder about a problem, a concept, with no words yet for my idea. This idea shapes itself when I try to describe it in words. A new word arises, I search for what is written about this word or word combination. Sometimes I find out it doesn't exist as a combination in google yet in the language of my search. Then I try to find synonyms or a description. What someone else writes gives rise to a reaction. I can write about my reaction, leave a comment or buy a book on the subject of my new interest. What is interesting is like the fringe of a landscape of concepts. The building of an internal mindmap that covers the interests that I have. This even includes how to rearrange my house, what to do with the children. Finding something new to add to my knowledge, e.g. a new anecdote to help my ongoing character building and raising children, or something that saves time (lifehack), or a site with quotes, all this keeps me motivated to be a parent, to be a wife, to be myself.

Honour the silent observer

This week I'm practicing Honour. Today I'm honoring the silent observer inside myself and in others. My silent observer is not quick to comment. It is the non-reactive voice that computes quietly while I hear my desire and comments at the foreground, urging me to fullfill the needs of my ego, or just pleasant but unfocussed babbling. I'm going to observe the media and see what role is given to the silent observer, rather than the cry of impulse. When I think or speak, I'll try to let this part of me speak.

teach learning

Teach how to learn is often seen as a biproduct of education rather than a separate topic at the primary or secondary school of my children. Today I teached a friend how to learn a difficult section in a book about economics. We made a mindmap of the section, starting with that what she remembered after a first read. The structure of the text became apparent when we used different colours for different information. After making the mindmap, she remembered much of the text and in her own words. The associations help to retrieve the information.
The last paragraphs my friend didn't need my help, and she was surprised her memory worked!

Marvel at concepts

At this point I'm trying to integrate what I'm learning on my fresh course on ethics (Mussar) and what I know both from previous knowledge and experience. In science I learned not to be original except for the discussion part which was my prefered part. Originality I see as the fringe of knowledge, where knowledge has no shape yet for us to understand it. I guess like a child I like to marvel at concepts.
Is the meaning of the word that I think it is really true or is the truth slightly different? Would another shape explain it better? I like to compare my ideas to that of others.

Juggling with selfishness

What I regret most is that I've pushed others away and chosen to be selfish. It is healthy to put up boundaries between myself and others, but at the same time we are a unity of souls. I tried to retract from this. This paradox of the tension between healthy boundaries and healthy unity puzzles me. What is my place? Am I conscious of the world, am I humble? It feels as if I'm juggling with this in relationships and when I think of world news e.g. on poverty.
How can I be with boundaries and less selfish, open to the world at the same time?