the real reason why I prefer mindperformance

Of all fears, I think fear of success is the most difficult to tackle in adult life. Simply because it doesn't happen everyday that I get applause in front of an audience, or even worse a crowd, and it doesn't happen often that I get recognition for something extraordinary. I've survived school avoiding applause well. Everything is safe, so long as I stay in the shadows and don't have a drive to perform. But that's my problem: I have a drive to perform.

The sweat and heartbeat and memory failure in front of an audience, the trembling, the sudden case of muteness will not stop me of getting myself into situations where I will get invited to come on television or talk to important people.

On television, it's impossible to have poetic lines come out of my mouth or witty links tagged to my comments. I should avoid television at all times, but I cannot help it, after dropping a few lines I got another invite.

Is there any book or movie with this theme?

I 'm lucky oracle google doesn't dread.