On this gadget you can see how much progress I make with my Nanowrimo writing. You can also see my username, Schmiodile. If everything continues like this, I will finish my 50000 words early. I'm writing in Dutch. The story is about Nora, a mother, who writes letters to Noam, a captured soldier. Each letter starts with a virtue.
With my chevruta I'm learning about Humility. Humility is about doing. I have the tendency to shy away. This is not Humility. So a good exercise for me would be to practice Gevurah, Strength. Where can I better practice than with the children? I have to reread the chapter to see if I completely get the concept right. It is about the nuances.
I read that my wisdom as an adult can stand in between me and my children if I feel I'm better than them. If I have wisdom, I'm supposed to share it with them.
Thus it would be Humility to share my wisdom with my children with a humble heart, but with strength as well and acrively involved. And Joy!
Nanowrimo 2011 is just around the corner. My husband warned me not to write more than is good for me. The idea to start a new book appeals to me. I will watch my energylevel, but what should I write about? I'm having trouble to stick to one idea. Time to search the web for help. In this article suggestions how to unleash my imagination and find good ideas. Maybe I will succeed writing, maybe not...
How can you be joyous in a difficult situation? Say my husband has a bad day, his mood is not pleasant. I can feel bad because he is too much in his feeling to pay me attention. I can also feel joy, that he is here with me. This really works. Just like I felt when we were in love, that same feeling actually helps in a bad mood day.
What would happen if I focus on giving joy?
I want to learn more about joy without artifacts. I guess it is about wanting what you already have, rather than expecting a fix through an artefact. I want to read more about it this year.
This quiet and sometimes slow because reflective voice inside has been given more space to speak for some time now. I notice my words are kinder, more reflective, wiser. This has an effect on people around me. They become calmer, kinder, thoughtfuller themselves. Sometimes one of the children will react with acting out. Then the quiet voice combines well with strength.
The course of Ethics (Mussar) is nearly finished, we practiced all character traits in it and now we're back to Anavah. We (my chevruta and I) found that we need to be more present and say our thoughts more often, in contrast to others who can gain by being more silent. This is difficult because accostumed to being silent, I have difficulty hearing that silent voice within myself that has interesting things to say. I haven't been writing on my blog for some time, busy with daily chores, caring for my family. When we have a deeper discussion with the children, I enjoy that very much, so why don't we have that more often, instead of watching television or sitting behind the computer. Taking up one's space is an aspect of Anavah.
What does the zone of proximal development mean in my life right now? How can I keep on learning? I can use internet and google to learn through exploring that what is related to what I already know and find out what I can add to what I already know. This is how I do it. I wonder about a problem, a concept, with no words yet for my idea. This idea shapes itself when I try to describe it in words. A new word arises, I search for what is written about this word or word combination. Sometimes I find out it doesn't exist as a combination in google yet in the language of my search. Then I try to find synonyms or a description. What someone else writes gives rise to a reaction. I can write about my reaction, leave a comment or buy a book on the subject of my new interest. What is interesting is like the fringe of a landscape of concepts. The building of an internal mindmap that covers the interests that I have. This even includes how to rearrange my house, what to do with the children. Finding something new to add to my knowledge, e.g. a new anecdote to help my ongoing character building and raising children, or something that saves time (lifehack), or a site with quotes, all this keeps me motivated to be a parent, to be a wife, to be myself.
